For a very long time I was the only black person in my groups. At school, at dancing classes, with my friends and then at work. I’m referring to the immediate close group because lucky me I wasn’t the only one in the whole school, the whole company or even the whole city… I never felt that I didn’t belong but I think I was missing more representations.
I will focus here in the work environment as I have many many examples… and whether it’s a good or bad thing, it will be way too long to read.
I had what I would call a pretty normal education in France and after high school I went to prep school and then to a business school. I chose a major in finance more by elimination process than a proper choice. I didn’t want to do marketing or accounting or entrepreneurship. However I became quite intrigue about this vast industry that finance is.
Little did I know it’s actually a white men’s world… right?
I had an internship in a big French bank for about 6 months and then found a job in another department. I noticed it was quite a diverse company… at the bottom of the pyramid at least but I was just starting so I didn’t really thought about it at the time. The first micro aggression I had was kind of like a compliment… ” you work well, you’re articulate, you don’t have an accent …”. It was always said with surprise which means a lot of things : I’m more intelligent than you though, either you usually hire people who don’t fit the job, maybe you had bad experiences with other colleagues before whether they are black or woman, or you are genuinely surprised
It’s always a blurry situation where you don’t really know what to say especially when you’re young. However, when I think about it it’s always frustrating and I wish I had responded differently at the time. The worst thing is, sometimes it’s coming from other minorities but always from men. It’s sad to witness this kind of behavior even if sometimes it’s coming from a good intention. It’s interesting how some people can actually feel threatened and feel insecure despite you just doing what society is asking you do do.
When you think about equality, diversity and inclusion it pains me to know that black women will struggle more than any one else. And being a black woman with an invisible disability, I think about it more than I would like to. We have to work four times more than a white man, a white woman and a black man. We always come last and I think that is why we need to support each other.
That’s why, every time I meet a black woman, I am proud to see her succeeding and I want to encourage her and surround myself with these women. Success for us is not easy but I think our time is now… and what not a better example than the leader of WTO Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala or the new US supreme court elected Ketanji Brown Jackson. When one of us win, we all win. Please have a read about her journey, it couldn’t be more impressive although she may have faced lots of obstacles.
But guess what? She did it ! They did it !
Bisous
Nelly